How Not to Kill Yourself by Clancy Martin


Of course the expected content warnings apply: Martin has a history of substance abuse issues as well as suicidal thoughts and actions.  This book is him trying to understand himself and what drives these issues. It’s deeply researched and also deeply personal, digging into Buddhist teachings, ancient and modern philosophers, and contemporary figures like David Foster Wallace, Anthony Bourdain and Robin Williams. His writing about his own life is fearless, beautiful and very difficult to read. 

A seasoned journalist and a university professor, Martin is a tremendous writer and we are lucky to still be able to read him. His story is terrifying and upsetting, and he tells it with brutal, shocking honesty and a thoughtful, philosophical voice. Many episodes are relatable in very difficult ways. 

It’s full of insight and hard-earned wisdom, but it’s difficult to pull-quote from. He writes like a scholar, and each chapter is somewhere between thesis and memoir, so sentences or paragraphs out of context don’t carry weight on their own.  

It will haunt me for a long time. I’ve already gone back to reread a couple of sections before I return it to the library, and I’m definitely going to purchase a copy.