So much wisdom in Mari Andrew’s Substack post on How to Talk to People. I’d post the whole thing if I could. This one got me (speaking of teenagers, this is going in my portfolio immediately):

Most people don’t want to be told that they’re strong, simply for surviving. As someone in my comments section once wrote, “People kept telling me I was strong for going on after my mom died, but what was I supposed to do? Also die?” Usually, “strong” doesn’t fit right when we’re actively falling apart.

Rather, it feels really good to hear “I hate that you have to be so strong right now” so the person has permission to do all the apparently un-strong things they want to do: scream, pound things, resent others’ good fortune, pull the blanket over their head like a ghost and eat a sheet cake in silence.

This book by her is great too, I bought it for my kid but have no idea if it’s been read. I didn’t know she had a follow up!